Trust – do we really trust Him or not? 3/2/14 Update

Dear Friends and Family,

This last week has been a long and hard one – not the way we envisioned it going.  As you may know we were to go in to Northside Thursday morning for surgery that would help Mark with his prolapsed stoma from his colostomy.  On Wednesday night we were getting ready for bed when Mark started having pretty severe chest pains and a pain in his left side.  After a time of seeing if it would settle down I called our sons to come help me get him to the ER.  After we got him there, they began running many tests and they admitted him around 4:30 am.  The tests showed that the heart was absolutely fine and nothing to worry about there.  The legs showed no blood cuts nor were there any clots or swelling around the heart.  Unfortunately the tests did show that the cancer that was already there has grown and there are new tumors.  This was of course not the news we wanted to hear.  Mark was in a lot of pain and couldn’t seem to get much relief even with the pain meds.  They said they could still do the surgery but Mark opted not to since that would be just one more thing to deal with and could make us stay much longer in the hospital than he wanted.  We met with a great palliative care doctor who quickly got his pain under control with morphine.

We talked about our plans moving forward and once again were asked if he wanted to try chemotherapy.  We had decided long ago that he didn’t want to do any more chemo and he still feels the same way.  Chemo is the only thing that standard medicine can offer us at this point.  With declining chemo, what he needs to is to have his pain under control.  The best way to do this is for him to go home with a pain pump that will continually drip morphine into his system to make him comfortable.  In home hospice is the way to go with this treatment.  They provide everything we need and will come to the house 3 times per week to check on him and make sure all is well.  We won’t have to run to the ER any time we come up against something we are unfamiliar with but rather be able to pick up the phone and have the professionals come to us.  No, Mark will not be going into a hospice facility but rather have the luxury of being treated and cared for from our house and not have to get in the car every time a need arises.  We got home late Friday and night and Mark has been resting well since then.

This is where trust really comes into play.  For the past 5 years we have put our faith and trust in God and asked him to heal Mark.  One of Mark’s grandmother’s favorite verses was Proverbs 3:5,6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths”  We certainly don’t understand why God is allowing the cancer to progress but He is, so do we really trust him?    With our faith and trust in God these past 5 years we have researched and tried many different treatments.  With the help of our medical funds that our friends and family have funded, we have gone literally all over the country trying to find help for Mark and a cure for this disease.  I firmly believe that Mark is still with us today due to prayer.  Does getting “bad” news mean that we aren’t praying enough?  No, it simply means that God may have another fulfillment of His plan for Mark’s life.  

I was talking to a friend this morning and he put it quite well – we are in a transition period going from a faith in healing to the fulfillment of God’s plan.  This doesn’t mean that we have given up – by no means!  But we have come to the point where we see that God has allowed the cancer to progress and barring a miracle it will eventually take Mark’s life.  I KNOW God can perform that miracle – I have no idea if He will or not but we are trusting Him to do His perfect will in our lives.  At this point what that means to us is that we will make sure that Mark is comfortable and we will enjoy each day He gives us knowing that it is a gift from Him and we will treasure it!  We won’t be seeking any other alternative methods or running off to Germany or Columbia or any other country seeking a cure.  We will keep our faith and trust in God and allow Him to do whatever work He wants in our lives.

I am thankful to have a relationship with Jesus Christ that allows me the strength to endure the hard times and to have peace in the midst of the storm.  I’m also so very thankful for a husband with a strong faith who has impacted so many and used what was a bad situation to reach hundreds thru his speaking, his book and simply his life.  Our children have been amazing and continue to be.  They have grown strong spiritually and I couldn’t ask for a better support system than what they give me!

Our prayer requests remain the same – 1. For God to be glorified thru our circumstances.  2. For Mark to be healed 3. for the edema in his legs to be down to allow him to walk better. 4. for the morphine to be a relief for him 5. to give him rest at night

Thank you so much for your diligent prayers and your love to us!

Mark and Lee

Psalm 56:3-4

When I am afraid, I will trust in you.  In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust: I will not be afraid.  What can mortal man to to me?

John 14:1-2

do not let  your hearts be troubled.  Trust in god: trust also in me.  In my Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you.  I am going there to prepare a place for you.

Hebrews 12:2

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Isaiah 41:13

For I am the Lord, you god, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear: I will help you.