Five Months….August 21. 2014

5 Months…….can it really be? Although it feels like five years in a sense. Five years…five years ago today we were at Kennestone in the hospital as Mark had just had his first liver surgery on the 20th of August. Now that seems like a lifetime ago.
As I knew it would be my life is not even close to the same as it was before losing Mark. It’s never easy to lose someone you love and then you add to it that person you lost was the absolute love of your life and your very best friend – I know people say that but we really were best friends. We shared everything and in the past 5 years spent more time together than most – I’m so thankful for that time. Losing someone with such passion as Mark had makes it more difficult – he was a difference maker and not having him here changing so much of everything about me and everything about our family.
One of the things that Mark and I did so much together was to think of things to be thankful for. So when I miss him I can stop and think immediately of things that I have to be thankful for. Not only the five years we had before he passed but even since his passing.
Nathan, Kristen and their girls and I were privileged to go to FCA camp at St. Simons in July, something that Mark and I usually did. I was able to give my testimony and it was great to be there with fellow FCA staff and also with the coaches and their wives that we looked forward to seeing every year.
I was also able to go up to Gainesville this week where they have a Behind the Bench ministry for coaches wives and speak there – what a great group and how thankful I am to be able to share what God has taught me.
Biggest blessing since Mark has past…..hands down our new grandson, Jackson Mark Coyle born to Dennis and Jessica on August 1st (his actual due date!). What a bundle of joy he has brought to my life already….if everything around me seems off and the world seems awful all I need to do is sit down and hold that sweet baby in my arms and somehow all seems right with the world.
There are so many ways in which I can see God taking care of me and looking out for me – it’s so comforting to see physical evidence of God’s goodness to me.
The most comfort though comes from God’s words in scripture. I don’t know how people go through tragedy without God but I also don’t know how we would survive without scripture – it is our true north – the one place we can go for absolutes. We don’t have to take any verses we read to or research their reliability because it is God’s word and it’s the truth I can stand on no matter what. I can read books, poems, articles and online reading which I love but there’s nothing like the Bible. It is the source of all comfort, the essence of every need I have and the answer to each and every question ever asked.
I still have many decisions to make and don’t know exactly what direction God would have me to go and exactly what He wants me to do so I’m just waiting. It may be I am to do exactly what I’m doing now but it may be more or may be something different. But I know that He has a plan for me. He loves me and I trust Him to have the plan – I just have to follow.
I said the biggest blessing since Mark passed was Jackson but now that I think about it more I think it’s the people I’ve run into that tell me they are still praying for me and for my kids – it blows me away and it shows me just how much God loves me and how much He loves my kids that He would lay it on people’s hearts to bring us before His throne. What a mighty God we serve!

I so appreciate the love and prayers from family and friends!

Much Love,


Philippians 1:20-21 (the verse Mark always used when he signed his book)
according to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

Philippians 4:19
But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Psalm 16:11
You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Hebrews 12:1-3
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.